Authornaut

Mike French is an author and the owner and senior editor of the prestigious literary magazine, The View From Here which has been called many fine things since it started in 2007 including, "Attractive, informative, sparkling and useful" by the late Iain M. Banks and for having a “great passion and drive” by Booker shortlisted Tom McCarthy.

Mike’s debut novel, The Ascent of Isaac Steward came out in 2011 with Cauliay Publishing and was nominated for The Galaxy National Book Awards which due to an unfortunate clerical error was awarded to Dawn French.

Born in Cornwall in 1967, Mike spent his childhood flipping between England and Scotland with a few years in between in Singapore. Splitting his time between his own writing, editing the magazine, running workshops and working with atp media in Luton, Mike is married with three children and a growing number of pets. He currently lives in Luton in the UK and when not working watches Formula 1, eats Ben & Jerry's Phish Food and listens to Noah and the Whale.

Mike's second novel a dsytopian sci-fi called Blue Friday was released in 2012 by Elsewhen Press and was nominated for the Arthur C. Clarke award 2013. Convergence, his third book, was released in October 2013 from Elsewhen Press and was also nominated for the Arthur C. Clarke award 2014. 

How to get a Publishing Deal

Well it's half-term holiday here, so I thought it would be fun to pull an article from The View From Here vaults about getting a Publishing deal ...
....


Here's the third installment of our Writers' series using that classic writers' guide and wholly remarkable book, The HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Packed with advice from poetry, how to pitch a book and dealing with the improbability of getting published this book has it all.

This week we punched in the search term, "Getting a Publishing deal" into the guide.

This is what we got...

Entry 002: Don't Bother

So we tried the term, "Chances of getting a publishing deal" and got this back ...

Entry 003: The Infinite Improbability Drive

The infinite improbability drive is a wonderful new method for sending out submissions without all that tedious  mucking about with rejections ...



So the infinite improbability drive allows all probabilities to be actualised. Since the guide advises " Don't Bother" to try to get a publishing deal,  it therefore follows that to bother a writer must use an infinite improbability drive to send out their submissions to agents and publishers. The logic being, that it is so ridiculously improbable to be accepted that a stamp just isn't going to do it; you have to bend the laws of physics so that every conceivable outcome is achieved: One of which will be a letter back with a contract for you to sign.

A warning though:  the guide does also say the following ...

1 Many publishers say they won't stand for this sort of thing because it debases the slushpile

2 It is important to dress accordingly when using the improbability drive 


So print out one submission instead of hundreds, get changed into your tuxedo, feed your submission into the improbability drive and make your acceptance speech at the Booker Prize ceremony. All before tea time. Sorted. But, er, watch out for sperm whales at the party afterwards ...